It is Saturday. My husband is leaving the house to go grocery shopping, taking my 5-year old with him, so that I don’t have to worry about her and be able to focus on my work.
He says: “I know you have a lot of work to get done today. So don’t worry about making lunch. I will get frozen meat balls from IKEA and I will make lunch. You focus to finish your work”.
You might think that I should have been so grateful and should have jumped up and hugged him and kissed him and told him that he is the best husband in the whole world. But instead, I look at him and say: “Fine!” The truth is that I don’t want us to eat processed meat balls. Even imagining them disgusts me! I feel like a horrible mother who cannot even cook a healthy meal for her family. I feel unfortunate, unlucky, poor and just horrible (crying while writing this)!
I keep telling myself how IKEA meatballs are antibiotic and hormone-free and that they are good for my family, while pretending to work, instead of actually focusing, during the whole time that my husband is out.
He starts preparing lunch right after he is back and he finally calls us to the table. I walk into the kitchen and look at the meatball subs he has made with cheese. I open the fridge and look at all the organic vegetables that had been piled up in there. These vegetables are some delivered to our door every Thursday by Fresh City Farm and some are produced in our own backyard. I remember how awful it is that a lot of times, instead of feeding them to my family I end up feeding them to my red
wigglers or my compost bins. Something else to make me feel miserable!
I say: “You could not use any of these vegetables in the food?”
He says: “I did not think of it really. And I was in a rush.”
I turn to the meatball subs and I tell him: “But look at this! There is no vegetables what so ever! It is all meat and cheese and salt! Oh my god this food is so unbelievably greasy and salty!”
And I start putting out some of the vegetables from the fridge, washing them and preparing a salad while saying: “Why do you not use it in the food. It really is not that hard or time-consuming. You just have to wanna do it! You just have to think a little bit when you prepare a meal. You never use the vegetables. It always stays in the fridge until it goes bad and then I feed it to the worms. Really!We work so hard in our yard and we also pay so much money for organic produce to feed it to the worms?! Really?!”
The kids are now sitting at the table and watching us with curious eyes and ears wide open.
He says nothing! He picks up another knife, stands beside me and starts helping with preparing the salad. “I really do have the best husband in the whole world”, I think to myself at that time!
I look at him and say: “Thank you for the subs!”
And he smiles!